Sunday, January 10, 2016

Journal Entry

I used to write blog posts all the time about anything on my mind.  I don’t seem to have time for that anymore. Which is good and bad.  It’s interesting to look back at the things that used to trouble me and things I went through.  But if the concern comes and goes so quickly that I never mention it on the blog, it’s probably not a big enough deal to worry about it or remember it.  It seems every week I have something new that I’m worried about with my kids (or myself, occasionally).  But it often turns out to be nothing and it passes and I forget about it.  Other than emails to my mom, there’s no sign it was ever on my mind.  And I’m okay with that.

But I do want to write a few things on my mind.  For starters- I feel so free lately!  Having my baby weaned is a great feeling!  Don’t get me wrong, I love babies.  But they make my life very restricted.  I can’t tell you how many times last year I turned down an evening out or an early morning workout with friends because I had a nursing baby to take care of.  It is very freeing now to know that not only can Ryan handle the baby, but that Kaden is obsessed with Ryan and probably doesn’t even know I’m gone.  I think Ryan put him to bed three times last week because I was gone!  Don’t go feeling sorry for him, the only reason I got out so much was because he is going to Arizona so I needed some time away before I play single-mom. 

I also feel more free because my injury has healed enough that I can run!  This is a great feeling!!!  It’s not 100% yet and I’m terrified of re-injuring it so I am trying to be careful and not push it.  But I am so happy that I’m not in pain with every step now.  I went to the physical therapist a few weeks ago to get their opinion about what I should and should not be doing to promote healing.  I didn’t know if it was tendonitis (it didn’t appear to be) or if my spine was off and my hips were totally weird (therapist said no, but I had already been adjusted twice by my chiro who said they weren’t in great shape then) or if I should be starting to strengthen the injured area???   So I went to see the therapist and she gave me some exercises to do to help elongate and strengthen the sore muscle, as well as the opposing muscles (which I really don’t think was the problem, I work all muscle groups with the workouts I do).  And she answered my questions.   Like- should I be taking anti-inflammatory pills (she said only if I need them for pain, not to dull pain so that I can run- darn) or if I should be trying to work the muscle (no, rest if painful- again, darn).  Basically, what I had been doing was the right thing.  Avoiding things that hurt the muscle.  Icing it.  Stretching it.  Not running or barely walking.  She wanted to see me back (they always do, right?)  But I didn’t think I needed to go back since I’m smart enough to know how to rest it and work it just a little.  Slowly, SLOWLY it improved.  It was like each week I would notice it could handle a little bit more weight without causing me to buckle.  It got to the point where I really had no pain unless I twisted just the right way (LOTS of pain).  Or tried to run- pain pulling my leg forward as well as landing on it.  I could do jumping jacks, and even split-lunges where you land on both feet, but could not land on the injured leg alone.  And certainly couldn’t run or even walk very fast.  It took 7-8 weeks before I tried running and the pain was not too bad.  I can now run and I feel it but it’s not bad and it doesn’t get worse.  But I am trying to be careful not to sprint and to give my body enough time to recover in between runs.  I guess this was just a pulled muscle.  It makes me nervous because all I did was workout on sore muscles, which I’ve done for years.  But now that I’m old I guess my body sometimes doesn’t handle it well.  I do NOT want to deal with this again.  So I ordered a foam roller and I’m going to work on stretches and treating my muscles better. 

Speaking of pain- I’ve had pain in my tooth for years.  No cavities, but the tooth was cracked.  I mean, it’s been at least 9 years because Bart Morrison had record of it from when he examined my teeth when I first moved here.  The pain has been off and on, but more recently it has hurt every time I try to chew gum, and occasionally with some other things too.  So I decided to get it taken care of.  Especially since it had been at least two years since I’d seen the dentist, and I’d gone through a pregnancy during that time which is really not good on your teeth.  I was actually nervous that my teeth were going to be a mess.  Getting to the dentist is not easy with kids.  I should’ve done it when my in-laws were still in town so I could have a babysitter.  But I didn’t.  So Ryan worked from home so I could go.  I went to Dr. Drew Bitter who just moved in across the street from us and bought out another guys practice when he retired.  And I did not have any cavities!  I think two of my four pregnancies I’ve made it through with no cavities.  Hallelujah!  But there was that crack…

So we started the process of putting a crown on the tooth.  He spent almost three hours drilling my tooth, taking out the old silver filling (mercury poison, I wish I could remove all the ugly silver fillings), drilling down my tooth, taking a mold for the crown and putting on a temporary crown.  My mouth hurt!  I hate being numb.  And my jaw hurt from being open so wide for so long.  It’s the tooth in the very back so he had to reach back far. My jaw hurt, and the corner of my mouth hurt really bad for a few days.  And then my tooth just hurt.  I couldn’t chew on that side because it hurt.  It throbbed at times.  About four days later I woke up in the night and my jaw was throbbing.  It hurt too much to fall back asleep so I took some ibuprofen.  Another time it hurt after my bath- maybe because my body temperature got high?  And once I took a drink of ice water and got shooting pains because of the tooth, and from there it ached.  After a week I called the dentist and asked if that was normal.  I was told no.  Well, they asked me a bunch of questions first, and we deduced that it would probably need a root canal.  So I set up an appointment with Bart Morrison the next day.  He checked me out a bit and said yes I needed one.  Even though the ice test wasn’t as definitive as they made it sound…  But the aching throughout my jam and head meant the nerve was very irritated.  So he numbed me up again (this time it lasted nearly 6 hours!!) and drilled it out.  After that it’s been painful to bite, but doesn’t throb anymore.  But I found out that they have to take another mold of my tooth and send for a new crown that takes at least two weeks.  So I’m stuck with a temporary filling and temporary crown until I can get in next week to get it filled for real (more numbness) and then get the crown back and put on (I can only assume MORE numbness).  I’m so sick of this tooth I’m about ready to just have them pull it out!  I don’t need it, right?  I’m extra irritated because I have been diligent with brushing and flossing and I didn’t have any cavities, but I still have to go through all of this.  I will be so happy when it’s all over.

On a happier note, I decided to work on photography a bit at the start of this year.  I looked into challenge groups and thought about personal challenges.  I decided to try and do at least one photo a day for the month of January.  I’m not trying to get frame-worthy shots every day.  The purpose is to document our life more.  My goal is to get more comfortable with my camera in poor lighting and situations that are less than ideal.  Until now, I didn’t bother getting my camera out if the light wasn’t great because I knew I would just be disappointed with the picture.  So I would snap a couple shots with my phone and call it good.  I’m glad I have my phone as an option, but I want to be able to do more with my camera.  I might try and watch some photoshop tutorials about different things as well.  I’ll see how January goes and then maybe I will do more everyday shots later.  I’m also trying a 52 challenge, a photo a week that we share on a Facebook group.  It has to fit the theme they give us each week.  At the very least, I’m exercising my photographic eye…


That’s what is up with me so far this new year!  I’m very happy to feel like myself again, because for awhile there when I wasn’t running I was not feeling like myself.  I had much more anxiety about everything and just wasn’t as happy.  I can’t wait to get back to normal.

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