Dylan had a friend party last year so this year he got to choose an activity and one friend. He decided to bring Mitchell to Lagoon. The cousins were able to meet us there also. Kylee stayed behind since she would be leaving early the next morning for Girl's Camp and directly from there to a soccer tournament in Ogden. It just seemed like a lot. And she didn't mind staying behind. She loves her solitude. So she stayed back and packed for camp and relaxed.
We got together with family on Sunday and had cake. Then left Monday morning for Lagoon.
Dylan and I drove down to Day Camp that weekend alone because the other boys are all friends and wanted to ride in the other car. On the way I was thinking about how Dylan can be such a kind, helpful kid. It got me thinking about when he was younger and he had Hulk moments. He and I would get in big fights. He would rage. I would yell and try to assert my control. It didn't go well. He wouldn't stay in "time out" (something that always worked for Kylee, not to mention Super Nanny) so I would try and shut him in his room to force him to have time out. He would end up throwing blocks at the door and leaving marks. These struggles would go on for a long time. He wouldn't relent. He wouldn't do whatever I was requiring of him. It was not fun for anyone. And it didn't work as a disciplinary strategy either. I asked him if he remembered those moments and he said no. I'm glad. It wasn't my best mothering moment. In many ways I feel like Dylan taught me how to be a mother. Sure, I had Kylee first. But she did what I expected. Not that she was perfect. But she responded the way I would expect. She wanted to please. She was a fairly easy child. Dylan was just different. He needed a different method. He taught me that kids are different and that I didn't need to force him to be like me or do things the way I would do them. It took years for me to learn this lesson. When I learned about The Child Whisperer's theory of personality types, it really made sense. But even before that, I learned that yelling and having power struggles with Dylan did not work. What I found was that if I took away something he liked, it was motivation for him to not repeat. Of course this is much harder than just putting a kid in time out. If I take away his television privilege, I have to deal with him begging and whining for it. Then demanding my attention because he's bored. But once he learned I was serious, the threats worked. Flash forward to now. Dylan is such a good kid most of the time. He's always looking for ways to help people. He loves to do nice things for people. He does well in school. He's smart, creative, active. He's amazing. No, he's not perfect. He thinks he needs to have constant entertainment. Boredom is his biggest fear. But we're working on it. He's going to do great things, I just know it.
Lagoon was really fun! A big bonus for Dylan having Mitchell along is that Mitchell wanted to do some of the rides that Dylan has been refusing to do for a couple years now: Cannibal, Rocket, etc. I told them I would go with Mitchell if Dylan didn't want to, but Dylan decided he wanted to go with Mitch. They went multiple times. Hopefully this means he's no longer scared and will go with us next time even if he doesn't have a friend there. No luck getting Sadie to go on Cannibal though. I don't get why people think it's so scary.
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